I had no idea she’d be on so soon! But Tessane Chin, the Jamaican Voice constestant— found the video this morning. I have no context, I don’t know how these things go, but she’s making me cry. She’s not the Jamaican woman you normally see—she’s neither grandma (I dunno reality, she’s not the stereotype) nor arm candy (she’s gorgeous, but clearly got shit going on). She’s got pipes, but she didn’t go reggae—she’s Jamaican via China, and with a stronger Jamaican accent than I ever had.

All I have to say to her is “Go deh, Tessanne! Do we proud!”

I cried.

Good morning.

OMG, this is too funny.

This Harlem Shake thing has me thoroughly perplexed and not a little earwormed.

If I had the energy, I’d check gawker to see if they had an article talking about the racism or no about the ad. But…post Kinja, everything there requires suiting up and holding your breath. Too much work to find comments that are interesting and relevant these days.

If I had the energy, I’d check gawker to see if they had an article talking about the racism or no about the ad. But…post Kinja, everything there requires suiting up and holding your breath. Too much work to find comments that are interesting and relevant these days.

Dude’s got a stronger accent than my father—my parents stopped talking Patois by the time I was born. They forbade me from speaking it, while my sister was learning to talk—hence big zero of accent. But sister is catching up, bit by bit.

Tags: Jamaica patois

yoisthisracist:

Jen (and many more) asked: Quote: The company said it tested the ad with consumers, including about 100 Jamaicans, and got no negative feedback. In the hours since the issue blew up, Vazin said, the company has gotten “many” positive comments from the public, including Jamaicans. “The response has been: ‘We get it. Accents don’t have a color,’ ” he said.

Accents can be totally racist, tho, eh?


Dear Volkswagen, please tell me you did not just trot out some tired old “how could we be racist, some of our best friends/focus-group-attendees are black” bullshit to defend this racist-ass video.

I’m going back and forth with my family (in Jamaica) right now, and the worst comment is “Why don’t *we* get roles in ads???” So, uh, I can testify to more anecdata.

It’s actually a really interesting accent (any non-use of “mon” is a win for me) and and not-cliched choice of dialogue, and I’m not going to lie—every time they show an Asian person speaking with a Jamaican accent, I do a little fist pump and think of Judith Chang, my best friend in high school, and then of my befuddled Canadian friends who watched the racial variety stream out of the Caribbean Student Society.

 I don’t think the ad is funny, and it doesn’t make me want to buy a VW (tho I still miss the Jetta), but I am not offended in any way.

Necessity is not the only parent of invention. Sometimes being a smartass and brilliant is all it takes.

I love Jamaica…

For some reason, whether I have coco bread or not, the first thing I do before eating a patty is to slice it in half. And then I eat each half from the sliced middle out to the end.
When I was home last year I was doing my little prep work for my snack and my father watched me cut the patty and then nodded smugly, and just said “You know.” before he went back to his business.
I just finished the last patty I brought with me. The hard dough bread is gone, the bun is gone, the sweet potato pudding is gone.
I do have metric buttloads of jam (especially guava-related) and Christmas cake, so all is not lost. But those are treats, not FOOD. I need FOOD.
Time to find those Jamaican grocery stores/restaurants in our nabe.

For some reason, whether I have coco bread or not, the first thing I do before eating a patty is to slice it in half. And then I eat each half from the sliced middle out to the end.

When I was home last year I was doing my little prep work for my snack and my father watched me cut the patty and then nodded smugly, and just said “You know.” before he went back to his business.

I just finished the last patty I brought with me. The hard dough bread is gone, the bun is gone, the sweet potato pudding is gone.

I do have metric buttloads of jam (especially guava-related) and Christmas cake, so all is not lost. But those are treats, not FOOD. I need FOOD.

Time to find those Jamaican grocery stores/restaurants in our nabe.

This is a really thoughtful and specific Jamaican accent this comedian (may he RIP) does. If I had a dollar for every time someone bothered to do that—well, I’d be broke. Because this comedian died 5 years ago, and I think the statute of limitations has been exceeded.

Good lord, the girl in this video is…I hope life doesn’t drain her of that spirit, but rather gives her the skills to know when and how to work it.

I do remember Sports Day with a jumbled clarity. I remember being introduced to glucose as kiddie steroids, served on half an orange. I can remember the girls and the cute guys in my house running (and winning! Go Sangsters!) while we sang them to the finish line. I have no memory of me sporting, though.

No surprise—this breaks me down, and puffs me up. I could (can?) not run for shit. Definitely in the back of the pack. But I remember the sports days—not the Champs like in the video—I left before I got old enough to see my classmates compete.

My sister was fleet of foot, and I do think that makes the eyebrows of onlookers raise differently. Of course, you want your kids to be good at everything. My mother is a pretty straight up academic snob, but if either of us had run at a national level, she would have gleefully swallowed her tongue (and waited for us to finish up the PhD later than otherwise planned (I neither ran nor got a PhD—martial arts don’t fill that same niche for her))

(NCB is one of Jamaica’s major banks, National Commercial Bank)
The NCB Hurricane Recovery Facility can also be used to put in place preventive measures to improve one’s ability to withstand future disasters of a similar nature, including purchasing water tanks and pumps, generators and solar energy solutions.

 “Our customers are priority one for us. We are aware of the impact the passing of the hurricane has had on many Jamaicans and believe we should play our part in helping to make the restoration process as easy as possible,” said Audrey Tugwell-Henry, senior general manager at NCB retail banking.

 “We have lowered our unsecured loan interest rate significantly to ease the burden on Jamaicans at this time and we are providing customers with a two-month window starting today, within which to access the funds they need,” she added, noting that applications can be submitted to any of NCB’s branches islandwide.

(NCB is one of Jamaica’s major banks, National Commercial Bank)

The NCB Hurricane Recovery Facility can also be used to put in place preventive measures to improve one’s ability to withstand future disasters of a similar nature, including purchasing water tanks and pumps, generators and solar energy solutions.

“Our customers are priority one for us. We are aware of the impact the passing of the hurricane has had on many Jamaicans and believe we should play our part in helping to make the restoration process as easy as possible,” said Audrey Tugwell-Henry, senior general manager at NCB retail banking.

“We have lowered our unsecured loan interest rate significantly to ease the burden on Jamaicans at this time and we are providing customers with a two-month window starting today, within which to access the funds they need,” she added, noting that applications can be submitted to any of NCB’s branches islandwide.
So…the fam lost power as the island was directly hit by the first hurricane in over 20 years. But it could have been worse:

In some southern towns on Jamaica, a few crocodiles were caught in rushing floodwaters that carried them out of their homes in mangrove thickets, showing up in districts where electricity was knocked out, local residents reported. One big croc took up temporary residence in a family’s front yard in the city of Portmore.

So far the death toll is two, and it doesn’t sound like that will be rising—she has passed over and may be near or over Cuba as I type.

So…the fam lost power as the island was directly hit by the first hurricane in over 20 years. But it could have been worse:

In some southern towns on Jamaica, a few crocodiles were caught in rushing floodwaters that carried them out of their homes in mangrove thickets, showing up in districts where electricity was knocked out, local residents reported. One big croc took up temporary residence in a family’s front yard in the city of Portmore.
So far the death toll is two, and it doesn’t sound like that will be rising—she has passed over and may be near or over Cuba as I type.
On the list of things that break my heart…this is a guide for non-Jamaican (black apparently need not apply) women who want to date yardies. It’s all about what compromises to make, what bullshit to swallow with a smile, and how important it is to keep your “crevices’ freshly cleaned at all time.
Never cheat on him! This is also very important! Jamaican women tend to have too much class, or non at all. You don’t want to mimic the behavior of the ones that have non at all. For the traditional self-respecting Jamaican woman, sleeping around, or “free for all fornication” is a no-no. So be sure if you did, or you do cheat on him, DONT LET HIM KNOW. That is if you expect to marry this guy.
And, yeah, if you’re Jamaican you might be wondering if Empress Yuajah tells you to let him cheat—she does say on her web page that he needs his time away from you for his friends and family (of whom you’re not? Of course you’re not stuck together forever, but the wording does isolate you from his life in a weird way) and I really do wonder if the book goes into more details. But not enough to buy it. She does not get my dosh.

On the list of things that break my heart…this is a guide for non-Jamaican (black apparently need not apply) women who want to date yardies. It’s all about what compromises to make, what bullshit to swallow with a smile, and how important it is to keep your “crevices’ freshly cleaned at all time.

Never cheat on him! This is also very important! Jamaican women tend to have too much class, or non at all. You don’t want to mimic the behavior of the ones that have non at all. For the traditional self-respecting Jamaican woman, sleeping around, or “free for all fornication” is a no-no. So be sure if you did, or you do cheat on him, DONT LET HIM KNOW. That is if you expect to marry this guy.

And, yeah, if you’re Jamaican you might be wondering if Empress Yuajah tells you to let him cheat—she does say on her web page that he needs his time away from you for his friends and family (of whom you’re not? Of course you’re not stuck together forever, but the wording does isolate you from his life in a weird way) and I really do wonder if the book goes into more details. But not enough to buy it. She does not get my dosh.

Bolt led a Jamaican 1-2-3 finish in the race, as he was followed by Yohan Blake and Warren Weir.

I love you guys so much right now…
Bolt led a Jamaican 1-2-3 finish in the race, as he was followed by Yohan Blake and Warren Weir.
I love you guys so much right now…